"I Be Nice!, I Be Nice!"

    When I arrived to pick-up my girlfriend at work, she said she was running late and told me to wait for her.  Knowing that a liquor store was just around the corner, I decided to make my wait worthwhile.  I didn't have any cash at the time (imagine that) nor did I have a bank balance.  Needless to say, I picked up a can of beer and proceeded to write a check for sixty-five cents.  When the clerk denied my check, I became very belligerent and told him that I was not leaving the store until he took my check.  That didn't work very well as he called the police instead.  When the police arrived, I put on my best face and instantly became very polite.  "Yes, Officer, I will leave the premises as you wish", was a carefully rehearsed statement.  I left politely but only to return fifteen minutes later demanding that the clerk take my check.  Again the police were summoned.   I remember flailing my arms up in the air reciting, "I be nice, I be nice!"  The police had a laugh at my expense and I wanted the mood to be "happy drunk" instead of "angry drunk".  I was detained and handcuffed... relegated to the back seat of the patrol car.  I learned never to disrespect authority unless it was a ruthless liquor store clerk.  .  As if on cue, my girlfriend arrived on the scene and was visibly upset by all the commotion I had created.   She was not amused.  Somehow, she convinced the officers to let me go. (perhaps her tears helped)   As she now looks back, she wished they would have taken me to detox instead because more turmoil was yet to happen...


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